November 2011
2 posts
Outburst.
I tried it. And trying fell spiralling into nothing. Something. Somewhere. Somewhen. When time passes inchingly and in the blink of an eye. And swirling in emotions blank as the snow and irritable. Not understanding them. Not fully getting it. Now exhaustion sets in a I swirl around in the dregs of my bathwater knowing eventually I will go down the drain too.
health update.
So, I had my MRI yesterday for my back. It didn’t take long and I fell asleep in the machine. LOL. Next Wednesday I have another doctor’s appointment at 9am, when I can go in and discuss the images with my doctor and ask questions about the shot I am going to get. I’m going home Sunday with Devin because he has work in Upland Monday. Then he will head back to Lake Elsinore while...
October 2011
18 posts
It is one of those days where I look at you during our normal routine and realize how much I still love you.
We watched Nathan find his limit and surpass it tonight. I got my new painkiller this morning. Life is going in strange directions so much of the time recently… I’m not sure what exactly is going on anymore… bedtime with Devin. At least he is a wonderful constant in my ever changing world.
So sick. Curse you medicine. Curse you digestion. Curse curse curse.
I love the way you make every part of me feel. I love this infinite type love.
“The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and...”
– Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
I’m tired of everyone except you. I hate how my body is sick and broken. I hate how we are responsible for keeping everyone else okay. I need a vacation just me and you.
September 2011
3 posts
I have sciatica. Screw this.
August 2011
5 posts
Omg. We have been working so much lately. I’m on payroll now. I also got asked specifically if I’d do spotlight for an upcoming show. Mostly I just want to lay down and nap with devin. Just so tired…
Working so much lately. I’ve also been in a lot of pain. Why does my body hate me?
Things with devin are amazing though. I’m so very happy.
Food poisoning sucks. Ows :(
Prayers please for a good friend of mine who has cancer. She is having her ovary removed a week from tomorrow
So...
New phone. New tumblr app. New direction in life. New perspective. What is new with you?
March 2011
3 posts
breakfast: yogurt with raspberries and an English muffin with honey.
snack: thinking about you.
lunch: undecided.
thinking about how it works when we are together is filling enough to be a snack all its own.
update.
It’s been so long since I was last on here. MY life has changed and not changed. I’m still with Devin. It will be our 2 year anniversary on May 2nd. He asked me to get engaged to him after he gets out of debt. I am still sickly obsessed with my body, but in a healthy way now. Instead of feeding my eating disorders I work out and eat healthy now. Still a student, but now I have my...
woah...
this is a trip. I haven’t been on here in forever! herrow again tumblr.
July 2010
1 post
i can’t decide if this irritation and annoyance is real, or just a phase…
June 2010
2 posts
i feel ill. i feel left out and isolated. i feel annoyed. i don’t know. i don’t know.
and every day i keep considering… and nothing changes… and nothing ever means anything. idk. welcome to summer =]
May 2010
3 posts
everything just keeps dragging by doing and...
our one year date was good. this week is half over. i have shit to do and i don’t want to. I have to spend all day at the library tomorrow. we are going to see iron man 2 this weekend. so excited. working on sunday to move the beauty and the beast set apparently. semester is almost over. i just wish everything would wrap itself up and be over with. i want summer to be here and my friends to...
Happy one year anniversary today.
April 2010
58 posts
*bam. essay sent to teacher for check-in point.
house, be prepared to be cleaned. then econ. starting to feel productive right now.
the memory of your smile and the memory of how...
I’m busting out part of this bioethics honor project essay so that I don’t have to stress so much since there are only like 3 weeks left. Then I have to write my econ essays and go to the library for math. When I finish the math I can play guild wars. Then I get to come home and clean the house. Long day just so I can have a good weekend. I have to get this all done.
I am tired. I am over this class. I’m ready to go home and see devin and alyssa. I’m ready to watch House with them and have a glass of wine. I just want to go home.
It’s almost a year…
I really need to grind out these essays. fuck this.
I can't wait for tomorrow to play guild wars and...
I am tired, I have a ton of homework to do this week, and all I want is more sleep. Instead of cleaning the house so I can go out this weekend, or doing my homework, I am instead going to get on guild wars and play to my heart’s content. Ugh.
Why am I not afraid of this being a year? It still feels so good…
In 7 days, devin and i will have been together for...
This is for real.
kaylacee:
This girl just posted the following as her Facebook status:
“so i was watching the Wizard of OZ right now and just realized that there are so many connection to WICKED the musical…”
um…….YES.
we need to do some population control if this is coming up. ugh.
today’s plan:
1. get all dressed and everything
2. laura said she would take me to school =]
3. do history homework in the library
4. econ class
5. sit around for 3 hours working on stuff. like math homework and essays
6. hope it doesn’t rain
7. math class
8. go home to lake elsinore =]
i am hungry. i want to be at home in lake elsinore. and kaura is giving me a ride to school tomorrow and is therefore the best. let’s go to dinner.
this saturday we just have guild wars plans, and the weekend after is our one year anniversary…